ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
Randomize