At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
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I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
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