Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
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