I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
Randomize
