I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
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