I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
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