Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
Randomize
