The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
