hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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