She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
Randomize
