At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
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He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
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All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
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