I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
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