I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
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