I can't breathe out the right side of my face
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
Randomize
