I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
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