you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
how do flat chested girls get laid?
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
You were trust falling into bushes
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
Randomize
