the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
