no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize