You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
Randomize
