I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
Randomize
