I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
Just cropdusted the office
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
Randomize
