..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
23 Men Confess The Moment They Realized They Wanted A Divorce
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
The 23 Most Inappropriate Things To Happen At A Funeral
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy