We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
25 Of The Most Cringeworthy Internet Stalking Fails
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
21 People Who Barely Escaped Death
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays