maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
