That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Randomize
