Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
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my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
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It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
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