So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Randomize
