speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize