Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Randomize
