I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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