one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
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