I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
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As long as you're not dating white guys again.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
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Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
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