erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
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