i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
I would fuck him just for his dog
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize
