i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
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