i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
Randomize
