I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
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