Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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