it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
Randomize
