Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.