I love you!
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
10+ Incredible Tumblr Stories That Will Leave You Shook
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
I stole a fireplace last night.
16 People Who Have Raised The Bar For Petty Revenge
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
Why are you drunk at the library?