i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
My liver just had a heart attack.
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
Randomize
