So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
