it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
Randomize
