I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
Randomize
