We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
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