Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
I don't want my vagina anymore.
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
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