1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Randomize
