Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
Having your wife answer your cell was so lame. Maybe we can talk when you get your phone, your facebook account, and your balls back.
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
Randomize
