man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
Randomize
