I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
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