Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
Randomize
