I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
Randomize
