I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
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