Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
Randomize
