And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Randomize
