I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
Randomize
