I totally just used John Mayer's lyrics to get laid.
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
Randomize
