Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
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