lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
so when our kids ask "when did you know you loved mommy?" you're gonna say "when she sent me emoticons about slobbing on my knob?"
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
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